• Coach Andrea Ervay

5 Ways to Build Relationships with College Coaches

I was once a high school athlete with sights set on playing college lacrosse. I was outgoing with my friends and had confidence on the field. But when it came to talking to college coaches I froze! I didn’t know what I was supposed to be saying, how often I should be following up, or what questions to ask.


It’s important to learn how to separate yourself from the massive competition.


Here are 5 ways you can immediately begin forming strong bonds with college coaches.



  • Communicate

  • Building relationships with multiple college coaches is key. Don’t be shy! Reach out and introduce yourself. Tell them about your hobbies and extracurricular activities outside of lacrosse. If they text you, text them back; if they email you or shoot you a message on social media, respond! And keep the conversation going - ask questions!

  • Be your authentic self

  • Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Answer questions authentically. Show off your fun, quirky side! But remember to always be respectful!

  • Be honest

  • It is a small coaching network. Coaches will know if you’re entertaining multiple offers - and if you’re being honest about those offers. You can definitely use offers as leverage but don’t make up stories about colleges you’re having conversations with - the truth will come out.

  • Follow-up

  • Give yourself a 24-hour rule! Always respond back to a coach - even if you’re not interested. Politely let them know you appreciate them reaching out but you’re looking elsewhere. Sometimes they may have a suggestion for a school or refer you to a program which may be a better fit for you. It’s okay to explore options, but if you’re definitely not into a school, let the coach know so they can move on with other recruits who are a good fit.

  • Be kind

  • This sums it all up - when you’re communicating, sharing information about yourself, talking about what you like/don’t like in a school and following up with coaches, remember to always be kind and polite. Again, it’s a small community - coaches and players talk to one another and if you have a bad attitude or don’t show respect, it may prevent you from getting an offer.


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